On December 14th, 2013 Gavin was called home to Heaven. Gavin had contracted some kind of infection while he was in the hospital the week of Thanksgiving, and on November 30th he went into septic shock. Things were looking very hopeful that he would pull out of it, but on December 7th he developed a pulmonary hemorrhage. He improved throughout the week again, and he actually got off of the oscillator that had been keeping his pulmonary bleeding at bay. But, on December 13th he started bleeding in his lungs again. He pulled through that night, despite doctors leaving us alone with him to say good-bye because they had done all they could. But at 7:30pm on December 14th I got a phone call when we were out in the lobby eating dinner with my sister and brother in-law, and the person on the other end said we needed to go to his room right away. We rushed back to Gavin's room and saw that he was very obviously not going to pull through this time. We freed Gavin of all of the tubes he had been attached to for so long, he was put in our laps, and by 8PM he was gone. It was so great to say good-bye to him without a single thing on his face. We hadn't seen him like that since the week he was born. He was always beautiful to us of course, but he really looked just like an angel as he became one.
Ryan and I can't believe that he overcame so many odds by being born with an omphalocele only to pass away from infection. The week before Gavin went into septic shock he had really terrible smelling loose stools. This is a symptom of C Diff, which is a bacteria that is found in people who have been hospitalized for a prolonged amount of time. Gavin tested positive for C Diff, but it was too late by the time he was tested. He was already in septic shock, and he had multiple organ failure. This has been something that Ryan and I struggle with because I had brought his odd diapers to the attention of many nurses and to doctors at rounds, but nothing was done. We are waiting on the final autopsy report, but that will take months. The initial autopsy report showed that his bowel was swollen and/or inflamed. This is also a symptom of C Diff. I post this because there are really risks that go along with prolonged hospitalizations. Unfortunately for us, the risk was fatal. So I hope to draw attention to this for families that might have a baby, or any person they know, hospitalized for a long period of time.
After going over the story again, I am still speechless. Ryan and I will always have a missing piece of our family. Gavin was such an amazing baby. He was so resilient. He was notoriously hard to get an IV in, so he would be poked several times. As soon as it was over he would be back to smiling and partying. This is just one example of how resilient he was. His spirit was amazing, and I hope that I can try to live up to being half as forgiving and loving as he was.
Ryan and I promised to Gavin that we would live a happy life for him when we were saying good-bye. I couldn't imagine living any other way to honor his life! He was so happy himself, so I know he would want us to be enjoying life like he did everyday. It is hard to do that sometimes, as the pain of losing him makes it impossible on occasion. But we get a little better at it everyday. Our family and friends have been beyond amazing and helpful, which has been the most comforting thing. We are working on starting an opportunity to donate to a fund that will be given to a family at Seattle Children's ever December 14th. And, we plan on meeting Gavin's brothers and sisters one day. I am 100% positive that any sibling of the G Man is going to be amazing. But, for now, Ryan and I are just spending time together after living apart so often while Gavin was hospitalized. We want to focus on our well being and reconnecting. Plus, Gavin loved hanging out with us both the most. It was when he was his happiest. So, we are spending time together. Besides promising the G Man that we would live happy lives, we promised him that we would live these happy lives TOGETHER. Anything else would dishonor Gavin.
If anybody reads this blog and is touched by Gavin's story, please continue to honor his life by doing kind things for others. When you get the chance to do something nice for somebody, please let them know it is from our sweet and loving son, Gavin, if you get the chance.
Thank you so much for reading this blog. I will pray for parents having a baby with an omphalocele for the rest of my life. We are a special bunch.
Until we meet again, G Man.
